have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
