Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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