Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Are we still banned from the library?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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