I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
