Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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