Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
