Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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