Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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