Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
