im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
