I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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