he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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