So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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