"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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