so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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