no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i love accidental penises.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
