i barfeds in our rink
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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