He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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