Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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