I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
