my mouth tastes like poor choices
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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