Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
