Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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