she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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