if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize