Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
