I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
