Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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