and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
