Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am naked and annoyed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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