He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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