Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
