Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
