He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
