the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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