my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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