That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
