He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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