brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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