1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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