i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize