I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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