Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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