I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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