why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
