FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize