I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
