Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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