Me too!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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