You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
