so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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