ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
