Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
