1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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