Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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