Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
