A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize