i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Blood and glitter go together right?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
