get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
