honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
