Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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