So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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