I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
