whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
FUCK WHALES
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize