she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
