One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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