i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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