i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
