The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We need to rekindle our bromance
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
