my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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