I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
