she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Less talking, more tequila
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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