You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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